You always have a choice. At any time in life, if something is not working out or if you don’t feel it is right, at that very moment, you have a choice. You have a choice to select the next path, the next move to take. You have a choice to write your present and future and to be your own hero.
-Do yourself a favor and don’t wait for anyone to rescue you, we both know you can do it on your own, and you will.
No one said it was easy.
Starting over is tough and nobody likes doing it. From the uncomfortable situations you experience to those vulnerable emotions, starting over can be daunting. So daunting for some that it is simply not even seen as an option.
You need to understand that in your darkest moments like these is that you have the power to change. You have the ability to change your energy and the best part? It is never too late. You are the author and creator of your life.
Oftentimes in life, we get stuck in negative loop patterns.
These can be established from either a series of bad experiences, or learned knowledge from someone else’s lived-trauma.
These can also come in the form of addictions. From here, we then take wrong decisions and do things that do not feel right or authentic to who we truly are! When we have spent enough time in these patterns, we often find ourselves doubting of ability to start over.
We feel stuck.
I am here to tell you that you have the ability to change and start over. You deserve the best for yourself and to be your authentic self.
While you can have the energy in you to change, this transformation require specific tools and methods that can guide you to the place you want to be at. Let’s explore some of the best strategies and its related action steps that can help you start actually living your life.
Taking ownership and realigning your direction
Taking ownership is admitting honestly to yourself what you have within yourself, and what you don’t. Take this time to be honest to yourself.
Commit to yourself that you are going to change, and that you will commit to realigning your direction, slowly but surely. From here, you can start taking the necessary steps to realign your direction.
- Start by looking at the basic things that matter – your diet, sleep cycle and exercise routine. Is there something you want to change within it? These are fundamental to how you anchor and order your life. Amending these to what you desire can have a massive impact on your change.
- If you are satisfied with these, look at your physical space. Is there clutter you want removed? Start organizing your physical space. Keep the belongings that matter, and for those which don’t throw them out.
- This will now give you a hang of how you should manage your priorities, relationships and boundaries within your mental space. Start writing down the things that make you happy, and the things that you want to change.
- To help you with this, start defining your personal values.
- Use the power of visualization to guide your imagination to the best possible version of yourself.
- Set realistic goals on how you can get there. The best way to do this is to jot it down and utilize the SMART goals model, which breaks your goals up into more agile and achievable mini-goals.
Throughout this process, it is crucial that you observe self-awareness. Observe how you think and feel (both mentally and physically) about certain aspects of these actions. This will help you achieve your authentic self.
Throw out what holds you back and maintain a record
Now that you have looked at what matters and where you are looking to change, it is time to do the other bit of the grunt work. Throwing out the bad habits, the toxic relationships and the fruitless addictions is not easy, but that is what you need to do to change. Here are the best steps to take in order to achieve that:
- Build a support network. Actively seek and tap into your friends or family members. Ask them for their support and feedback on what may help you further.
- Focus on a productive or healthy subject in your life that you like to keep around. This can be identified from the first strategy. While doing that, start shifting your time, energy and attention from the non-productive matters to the productive ones.
- Starting keeping a record to monitor everything relating to how you are restarting your life. Know that it is your book, and a safe space for you to be honest with yourself.
- Reward yourself well! If you are doing well in kicking out the negatives, treat yourself. The reward system will assist you in reinforcing your decision in selecting a healthier way to spend your time.
Once again, it is crucial to maintain a level of self-awareness and knowing your limits when implementing these action steps.
Try new things and keep the genuine things you like
This one is my favourite! Once you have aligned up what matters and you have strategised ways to deal with the unhealthy, start trying new and healthy activities and habits. This will allow you to understand yourself better, as you start realising that hey! I actually enjoy doing this new (and healthy) activity. You also get to gain new skills and build new relationships.
That’s what I learnt when I had a painful break-up a while back, walking out of a 9 year relationship. Prior to that, I was hanging around a similar crowd (often with my ex-partner) and trying to align my activities with theirs.
After the break-up, I decided to give manifestation a try. I heard of the tremendous benefits from it, but at the same time my environment was not very supportive of „woowoo things“. I was worried that because I was raised to only believe what I can see and achieve things just with hard work, that it would not work for me.
I couldn’t be further from the truth!
In less than six months, I:
- got a scholarship to study in the US (was still studying in Germany back then),
- got an amazing and affordable room in a co-operative amongst musicians and creatives, something I had dreamed off since I was a little girl,
- was allowed to write a Bachelor Thesis in Industrial Design, even though all the others were one year ahead and got the chance to work with the most amazing mentors,
- traveled the US and visited all the places I only knew from books and TV,
- literally bumped into my husband
- and MUCH more.
This was my point of no return. I quickly realised the multitude of benefits it brought upon to all areas of my life. I started to feel grounded and abundant. It became an important part of my life.
It is possible to try new things and keep the old and gold things that were doing you good. Here are the best action steps to take to achieve this:
- Look at what is working well and what is not. If something is going well and it is healthy for you, it is best to keep it.
- With the renewed energy in you from the decluttering, select a few things that excite you and go for it!
- Focus your energies in truly embracing the new activities.
- If you get anxious, understand that almost everyone has a fear similar to that. Show up at an activity and enjoy yourself!
- Once you are doing this activity, start to observe yourself and how you are feeling. Are you feeling authentic doing this? Are you feeling healthy and at peace while enjoying the activity? Are you content from the benefits derived from it?
Examples of these activities include attending networking events, trying out a new sport, reading a new book, learning a new skill (which can do you so much good in this tech age), volunteering or going on a retreat!
If you want to experience a whole another level of trying something new, consider moving to a new place! Be it short or long term, moving to a new environment can help you understand your true self much better and help you to leave old habits, people and spirals behind.
You always have a choice. Use these steps as a starting point when you embark on a change. Always observe self-care throughout the process and take care of the basic elements of your health. I will leave you with an inspiring quote from one of the most impactful authors of all times, Jack Canfield – the genius behind the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
“Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it and believe it’s possible for you.” – Jack Canfield